HE REALLY LOOKED AMAZED WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT I SPENT ABOUT SEVEN YEARS IN THE BATHROOM PRACTICING WITH MY SOLID BODY GUITAR. IT WAS A VERY LARGE ROOM . I HAD PLENTY OF ROOM FOR MY CHAIR , BOOKS , MUSIC STAND AND GUITAR.  IT WAS VERY QUIET AND PRIVATE MOST OF THE TIME.  THE ACOUSTICS WERE GREAT.
                FRED LOOKED AT ME WITH GREAT INTEREST. YOU COULD SEE HE WAS THINKING VERY DEEPLY ALMOST CUNNING .  HE THEN ASKED ME IF A SOLID BODY GUITAR COULD BE HEARD IN A COURT ROOM WITH OUT THE AMP. I HESITATED A MOMENT THINKING HOW QUIET A COURT ROOM MUST BE AND SAID YES. HE THEN ASKED  WOULD I GO TO WASHINGTON D.C. AND DEMONSTRATE THE GUITAR WITHOUT THE AMP. IN A COURT HEARING  THE  FOLLOWING  WEEK. STILL  BEING
‘’  GUNG HO ’’ I JUMPED AT THE CHANCE. 
                   THE FLIGHT LEFT AT 9AM FROM LA GUARDIA AIRPORT. IT WAS ONLY AN HOUR FLIGHT. WHEN I GOT ON THE PLANE THE STEWARDESS SAID GOOD MORNING , CHECKED MY TICKET, DIRECTED ME TO MY SEAT AND SAID “ YOU CAN PUT THAT THING IN THE OVER HEAD COMPARTMENT” I HATED WHEN PEOPLE CALLED MY GUITAR “ A THING.’’ “ HEY DUFF GO HOME AND GET YOUR THING AND LETS HAVE SOME FUN ’’ THAT’S WHAT I HEARD WHEN I WAS A KID. GOD, I HATED THAT .
  “ HERE’S MY THING’’  I GESTURED. THEN I’D GET MY GUITAR. 
 
                        ALL THE WRINKLED  “ SUITS ”HAD STARED AT ME WHEN I WALKED PAST THEM ON MY WAY TO MY SEAT.  THESE GUYS  ALL LOOKED LIKE LAWYERS.THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS A “ BEATNIK’’ WITH A SUIT ON . THEY KNEW I WASN’T ONE OF THEM BECAUSE MY SUIT WAS PRESSED. I COULD HEAR THEM THINKING  WHO IS THIS GUY . THIS COULD BE THE GUY WHO’S GONNA PLAY THE GUITAR IN THE COURT ROOM. HIS SUIT IS PRESSED, WE’RE GONNA LOSE, LETS THROW HIM OFF THE PLANE. I DID THIS FOR THREE DAY’S . I WORE A   
DIFFERENT CLEAN PRESSED  SUIT EVERY DAY . 
                       THE WRINKLED SUITS WERE LOOKIING WORSE EVERY DAY. THEY KEPT CHECKING ME OUT. THEY WERE GETTING SCARED. I WAS GETTING MORE CONFIDENT. 
                      
                           WHEN I FINALLY WENT INTO THE COURT ROOM THE COURT CLERK ESCORTED ME TO MY SEAT. I WAS IN FRONT OF A PANEL OF SIX MEN. I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE ANY OF THEM FROM THE PLANE. I KNOW THEY WERE PART OF THE CLAN BECAUSE THEIR SUITS WERE WRINKLED. THEY SAT THERE LOOKING AT ME AND MY GUITAR. THEIR GLASSES HUNG ON THE END OF THEIR NOSE AND EACH HAD A PENCIL IN HIS  HAND. THEY STARTED TO LOOK LIKE MY NUNS IN CATHOLIC GRAMMER SCHOOL WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I STARTED TO SWEAT.THEY ASKED ME IF IT WAS TRUE THAT I PLAYED MY SOLID BODY GUITAR  IN THE BATHROOM FOR SEVEN YEARS. I ANSWERED YES. THEN THEY ASKED ME TO PLAY. IMMEDIATELY I STARTED TO THINK “ WHAT IF THE NECK COMES OFF WHILE I WAS PLAYING. ’’ I STARTED TO PLAY ANYWAY. I KNEW THEY COULD HEAR ME BECAUSE ONE OF THE SUITS STARTED TO TAP HIS PENCIL TO THE RHYTHM I WAS PLAYING AND HE WAS SMILING. HE WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME. I FORGAVE HIM FOR HIS SUIT. WHEN I FINISHED PLAYING THEY SAID “ THANK YOU MISTER DUFFY ’’ I SAID “ MY PLEASURE ’’ AND LEFT. A FEW MONTHS LATER FRED TOLD ME HE WON THE CASE BUT NOW THEY WERE SENDING IN THE GUITARS WITHOUT STRINGS TO BEAT THE DUTY TAX . I SAID “ SORRY I CAN’T HELP YOU WITH THIS ONE.’’
Thanks for reading,  DanStatistics: Posted by danduffy — Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:55 am
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