Lamest Model Name for a Guitar

[VintAxe]

Hey Guys,

I was just sitting here editing some images for a Killer catalog I'm getting ready to upload and I was struck by some of the the preposterous model names their marketing people have chosen for their instruments. Now I realize this is a Japanese company and some of the names may not have translated well but check out what I mean.

One model is called "the Fascist" and if that's not brutal enough for you, you can upgrade to a "Fascist Vice". They also carry "the Pirates", "the Criminal" and "the Sinner". Of course, I think my personal favorite has to be "the Atheist".

These are clearly guitars built for people living on the Dark Side.

This has gotten me thinking. What is the most absurd, preposterous, presumptuous or just plain lame model name that has ever been used by marketing people to christen some poor designer's guitar?

Can you guys top "the Atheist"?

sb

[cheepaxes]

I think you win. I can't think of any guitar names worse than those. DOD has put out some pedals with silly names and pretnetious labels for the features on the pedals... One might argue that some of the old Univox names are silly ("Coily," "Naked," "Precisely") but those names you listed top Univox by a wide margin, IMO. I'm guessing they're pointy?

-Scott

[VintAxe]

Yeah Scott, for the more sinister names those will be tough to beat. After I got the images uploaded I clicked through them to make sure they all worked and realized I left out "the Scary". That's probably in the same class as "the Naked" .

Killer Guitars have never been sucessfully marketed in the U.S., I wonder if the names have anything to do with that. By all accounts, they are pretty decent guitars and not cheap. They sell for around $3,000 USD.

If you're having trouble with a sinister name, how bout the most unmasculine name? sb

[Bob K]

Man, I'll bet that Atheist gets some "UNGODLY" tones!!

It's a little known fact that if you ordered the deluxe Fascist Vice model Killer threw in a brutal oppressive criminal dictatorship and free gig bag...

Hey, I'll be here all week - enjoy the veal!!

Bob

[cheepaxes]

[quote="VintAxe"]

If you're having trouble with a sinister name, how bout the most unmasculine name? sb[/quote]

Well there's the Daisy Rock and Hello Kitty guitars...

Along the lines of the Killer guitars, I once went to a Ren Fest and there was a guy there with some examples of electric guitars he made himself locally. They were very pointy and "Goth-y" to coin a term. I guess he figured there were enough Pagan/Wiccan/Goth rockers shopping at Ren Fests that he might actually sell some. I found them rather unattractive but then I guess I wasn't his target market. More importantly they felt really bad in my hands - not very playable and kind of icky in a way I can't quite describe. Maybe it was a setup issue. I might consider one if I got a gig playing slide guitar for GWAR...

I don't remember the model names.

[hans-jürgen]

How about "Love Rock"? But in a smoky bar it almost looks like "Les Paul"... from a distance... with a few drinks too many... "Springy Sound" ain't bad either...

I love my Tokais, really.

[wietse]

there are some weird names on the market in not english speaking country's.
great-ja is the worst name i kan think of at the moment, good guitars but wrong name.

[VintAxe]

Hi guys, just catching up on this thread.

Bob "you funny". Thanks for making me laugh.

hans-jurgen, I know exactly what you mean. My neighbor across the street holds an annual Fourth of July party where her band performs using her car garage as a stage/protection against rain. They play 80's dance music which is kinda nostalgic and fun in this setting. Anyway, the first year she staged this event I walked over after dark and watched the band a bit before socializing with my neighbors. During a band break, I met up with the guitar player at the buffet table and said "hey that a nice looking Strat you are playing, what year is it?". To my horror he replied "Oh, it's not a Strat, it's a Tokai Springy Sound". I felt humiliated. Here I was a guy that was supposed to know the basics of guitar identification mistaking a Springy Sound for a Strat. These days, I attribute the mis-identification to the beers I was drinking and the fact that the darn garage was pretty dark. But in reality, I know those Tokai fellas were making some darn nice reproduction guitars, right down to that clever Tokai logo..

weiste, "great-ja?!". What does that mean in any language? I think you are in first place for the most absurd name .

Thanks for playin'. sb

[hans-jürgen]

[cheepaxes]

[VintAxe]

Hey Scott,

Describing Buick McKane as "very loud" is an understatement. My friend John Evans was a friend of Alejandro so I used to go to his shows when he came through KC. They typically played the Hurricane which is a medium/smaller sized club in Westport. I actually never walked up close enough to figure out whether they were 50 or 100 watt Marshall heads but I can tell you that the Gain was on 11. It was great Stones influenced R&R but pity the soul that didn't bring earplugs. Last I heard Alejandro had stopped touring due to health issues. I hope he's well. sb

[cheepaxes]

Yup, they were mighty loud alright. If I had been more into amps at the time I would have checked the wattage at some point when the amps weren't in use. There was no way to get close enough when they were making noise.

I know that Alejandro is back to recording and playing out. He had a close call related to Hapatitis-C and cirrhosis of the liver a few years back.

I only saw him once with Buick McKane but I saw him 2-3 times with bands of various sizes doing the stuff from his solo records.

-Scott

[mrblanche]

[St. Stevie Ray]

I THINK "great-ja" MEANS "LARGE SPHINCTER" IN CAMBODIAN.
ONE OF THE GUYS IN MY UNIT BACK IN 74 WAS CALLED THIS BY A
CAMBODIAN GIRL WHILE SHE WAS CHASING HIM. WE ALL KNEW HE WAS ONE AND I GUESS SHE DID TOO!

[stewyh]

I've got a Yamaha "Super Flighter" dumb name, great guitar! Also a fan of Yamaha "Studio Lord".....like that one hehe