So I had a little free time to do more work on this, apparently I DO have Dimarzios in here.
I still can't get it to make noise, so I started looking at the switch:
it looks like everything on here is "mini" parts, mini pots and this weird switch (unlike the back of the toggles I've seen before) and all the routing is smaller than the "real" Gibson I got a look inside. (Hey for 1/12th the price I'm not complaining!) SInce I didn't get that figured out, I started working on the tuners and the cracked nut. Allparts to the rescue...
When I unscrewed the backs off a couple of the tuners, they just fell apart. No wonder it wouldn't stay in tune, even with 9s on it. Oh yeah, it definitely is solid wood, not plywood:
The top is at least 5 pieces, which is weird because the back is only 2. My daugter was helping, too:
she only lost 2 or 3 of the screws in the process... anyway most of the screws for the pickups and back cover were rusty and mismatched so this thing has come apart at least a couple times before, but all the wires looked intact (no soldering/electrical tape) so who knows what's going on in there. I got a truss rod cover that definitely won't fit, a set of "bell-shaped" tuning machines, some nuts (why do they come in sets of 10, anyway?) and a big sheet of pickguard material so I can cut a back plate cover out, so with any luck it will be back in one piece and makin' noise soon!